The annoying me

I remember the last time i asked him too much about whats wrong with his mood he said, "you're too annoying". I wonder would he ever able to understand the pure feelings behind that annoyance of mine. Never. He's not much bothered about me. Never mind.

So its a really boring day at work. I am the only person in the whole block i guess, Thanks to Qadri sab. Yesterday trip to Khanpur was no less then a big big adventure. We had to pass beneath the containers placed the the entrance of Isb. Haye.

I am off from a couple of days. I don't know why. Sometimes i get off for no apparent reason. Well I have my fears. Which increase with every single day i spend with him. He always says he will tell me things when he will come to Pakistan. Fingers crossed. No, I don't want a surprise. It wont be pleasant. But he says he hasn't hidden anything from me and he says hes man of his words and, I, believe him. But, still, my fears are there..always there..i believe he was too much into someone, he never tells me that, for hes a close person. Gosh i hate that. He'd never share things with me. Anyway, again, NEVER mind.

I dont think I have been able to create my or ANY place in his heart all that long. I only wish i could. Wish he could see me. Though he knows i am involved and i am madly in love with him, but whats the use of that. Well i dont ask love in return, for, this is not a trade..khair..i don't know what i want..I don't want to betray my parents.

Little Sam is a darling. I want to smash her in my arms.

I might be resigning soon. I am fed up of this routine, want to fly away somewhere. Where nobody knows me and I'd have a life of my own. My way. Thats not possible on earth i know. I really really really wish my degree ends soon. It their any way someone else can complete my degree on my part? Duh! I know the answer.

I am writing a blog after long. I dont know what else to do. Nothing to do at work. Allah boring.

#NP me hosh me tha to uss pe mar mita kese.

I am dizzy now. Bye Bye!